A couple of weeks ago I was click-bouncing and I found this page, suggesting a 7 day cleansing diet. Rules are simple:

no gluten | no diary products | no sugar | no coffee | unlimited veggies&fruit | measured and light protein foods

In addition, one should drink plenty of water.
I tried the diet for fun. My regular diet is full of gluten (I’m Italian), I live fuelled by coffee and sweets, and I have to force myself to eat greens. I wondered, how will I feel after those seven days? This post aims to be a honest account by a diet-hating kind of person, so fasten your seat belts.

Everyday my breakfast consisted of a fruit smoothie with almond milk. Usually I eat yogurt and muesli, so this wasn’t big deal. I missed my morning coffee, though.
Lunches were the worst: I don’t like salads and I had to eat one every single day. I tried to enrich them with quinoa, dried tomatoes, tuna or fancy vinaigrette, but I still felt like I was eating grass. On the third day, I wanted to kill someone. Lack of coffee made me sleepy and slow.

I hate you, grass.

On Monday my office planned a vappu (Finnish term for May 1st) party and offered a display of pastries which made me almost fail. My husband had to physically restrain me. Note to self: avoid parties when you are dieting.

Dinners were easier, because I was allowed a warm meal. I have prepared mushroom omelettes, chicken breast, noodle soup. However it was hard to witness my family eating home-made pizza, delicious pasta, bread, cold cuts, cheese. In a couple of occasions I had to leave the table early because it was too much to witness.

Hummus was allowed and it kept me sane for a couple of meals.

Do I feel new, cleansed? Is my skin shiny and perfect? No. I have suffered most of the time and results are contained.

There are pros I need to list:

1. It was rewarding to succeed in completing the diet, despite the suffering. I took it as a successful display of self-discipline.
2. I was surprised I functioned decently without coffee and I want to limit my daily amount to two cups a day.
3. I lost two kilos (already back despite my efforts not to eat well after the diet).

My bottom line is, don’t do this to yourself! If you read the original post or any post talking of diets, they always talk miracles. You don’t need a miracle to feel well or lose weight. Visit a nutritionist, get a personalised plan, and expect results in long term.

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