I am a master in complimenting my 3-year old kiddo.  Just yesterday,  I cheered and patted him in the back when he successfully put his dirty clothes in the hamper.  Sorry, some of you might say that that is too much but I just couldn’t help but say “Thanks buddy!  You did a great job”.
As it turns out, you need to do more than just generously handing out compliments to raise confident kids.  Here are 8 tips to foster self-esteem in kids in an early age:

• Love your kid unconditionally.  It is important that you let your kids know that they are loved even when they fail or make bad choices.  Remember that this is the foundation of upbringing confident kids.  When they know that they are loved and accepted no matter what, they feel that they can do anything they set their mind to because they will always have your support.

• Be kind to yourself.  Everything you do is right in the eyes of a child.  Hence, you need to show your kids that you love yourself.  Be a model advocating self-love, acceptance, and positivity so that your kids will learn to emulate this healthy habit.

• Give credit where credit is due.  Kids give high regards to their caregiver’s thoughts and opinions.  Therefore, it is of utmost importance that you shower them with praises and positive feedback as this is how they measure their worth.  However, you need to be careful in giving praises. For instance, if a child lacks talent at something or if he fails, commend the effort he exerted and dwell too much on the result.  Tell him that some things need more time, effort, and practice, and that it’s okay to not do everything perfectly.  The important thing is that he has given his best shot.  Remember that confidence comes from the process of trying, failing, and trying again.

• Assign house chores.  Kids feel powerful when they are given the chance to show their capabilities.  They will feel that they are needed and that their contribution is deeply valued at home even when they are still toddlers.  You can ask small things to do.  This includes simple tasks such as setting the table or putting dirty clothes in the basket.   

• Teach the importance of doing and trying again.  Failures, pain, setbacks, and criticism are inevitable in life.  No one succeeds at everything all the time so teach your child to not dwell on mistakes and failures. Use those disappointments as a golden opportunity to teach your child to not give up.  But don’t forget to validate their feelings as this will teach your child that failures are okay but can be managed.  Discuss what your child can do to succeed next time.  When he succeeds later on, he will surely be proud of his achievement.

• Take a step back.  Confident kids are eager to try out something new without any fear or reservations.  Let your child do things on his own but watch from the sidelines.  For instance, you can show him how to make his sandwich and let him try it later on without interfering.  Make sure that you set up a safe situation where he can practice without any intervention.  Let him explore so he can discover new things and learn that he can handle various situations on his own.

• Support your child’s interest.  When you or your child discover something that he excels in, hone that talent or skill.  It might not be something that you like but it is important that you respect and encourage him to pursue it. For instance, if your son shows interest in playing the guitar, you can teach him if you know how.  Or better yet, ask him if he is wants to take classes.  But make sure to set rules so that this does not interfere with his school work. The important thing in this tip is that he sticks to what he loves so that he is more proud of his accomplishment later on when he sees through it.

•  Let your kid make age-appropriate decisions.  Doing so empowers them while helping them think of the consequences later.  For instance, you can ask them what they want to wear.  If you are not that comfortable with letting them take the reigns, you can let them choose between two options that are okay with you.  Example, you can ask him “do you want to wear this red shirt or this blue shirt”. 

Fostering positive self-esteem in kids in an early age is totally doable.  You will need to love yourself and your child unconditionally, give him praises, trust that he can do what he intends to do, and take an active interest in his passion.  Over time, your child will learn how to value himself as you do.

About the author

Elkyra Park is a first-time mom who can no longer count how many baby products she has reviewed for her sanity and her son’s sake.  She discusses about the realities of parenthood and how to gracefully cope with the struggles over at Easy Parenting Hacks.

Featured photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels