I recently found out I am married to “Vuoden Isä 2020“, Father of the Year. Every year Finland awards few fathers with this title and my husband Fabrizio was among the selected winners for 2020. The government’s website reads: “The award is given to a person who, through his or her own example and actions, has promoted the recognition of the meaning of fatherhood and thus increased its appreciation” (translated by Google). In the past week he’s been interviewed by several newspapers. After calling in some favours and overcoming several layers of security I reached him and sat him down for an exclusive unfiltered interview 😜.

Paola: What was your reaction when you heard you had won Vuoden Isä 2020?

Fabrizio: First when I heard that I was participating I was shocked, I thought “What the heck? Who nominated me and why?”. When I heard that I won I couldn’t believe it.

P: Define yourself as a father in 3 words.

F: Present. Loving. Playful.

P: I have you on record saying “Behind every father of the year, there’s a mother of the year”. Do you want to comment on that quote?

F: I never said that.

P: There are reliable sources.

F: I categorically deny I ever said that.
On a serious note, I know there are single parents out there, they are heroes. I couldn’t do what I do without you.

P: I wasn’t expecting the serious part, I was teasing. On the same note… I was the first to bring your name forward for this. Does this award me the title of kingmaker?

F: This is so typical, now that I am under the spotlight you’re trying to steal the attention. (such ridiculous accusations, ed.)

P: Fine, fine. Complete these sentences. Children are…

F: The most important thing is the world.

P: Being a dad is…

F: The achievement of a lifetime.

P: The greatest daily reward of fatherhood is…

F: Seeing your kids grow and become more and more independent.

P: As I dad I am frustrated when…

F: When I cannot express completely how I feel to my kids, because they are small and wouldn’t grasp what I mean.

P: A father’s role is…

F: To teach your children with your actions, lead by example.

P: Adoption is…

F: Challenging and very rewarding.

P: Who’s your role model as a father.

F: Phil Dunphy, for sure. With a touch of Ron Swanson.
(2 minute laugh follows, ed.)

P: What has been your greatest challenge as a dad?

F: Understanding I couldn’t do what I wanted anymore, losing autonomy. Every time I want to do something, I have to reflect “is this going to be okay for the kids?”. Even just going out or sometime even going to the toilet, you have to worry about them first. That was the biggest challenge for me. There was this popular comedian we watched together, describing life before and after kids. He described going out before kids and it was like “Okay, let’s go out”, simple action. After kids it was “let’s go out” and half an hour later you’re still there dressing kids.

P: How do you see your role changing when the kids will be older?

F: It’s hard to see the future, but I think it will be a role that will fit me well. I expect to be on the sideline. I’m going to be successful if my kids will be aware that I’m there if they need me, but that they feel autonomous to live their lives.

P: If you could spare some advice for a new dad, what would you tell him?

F: Never ever take anything personally. The things your children do or say are nothing personal. Be as flexible as you can be, don’t fall in love with plans or ideas, be open and adaptable.

P: Complete this. When you become a father, you lose… but you gain…

F: You lose autonomy but you gain the kids, and they can make your day with a simple smile or something they say.

P: Any final comment?

F: There’s something I’ve been reflecting upon since I heard I had won. I am proud of this award, but each father should know they are Father of the Year to their own kids. No matter how down you feel, maybe you are going through a rough patch or you are unemployed – with covid and everything – your children don’t care. You are a hero to them. It’s a motivating thought but also a responsibility. It’s a message we should tell ourselves more often.

I want to thank Adoptioperheet for putting Fabri’s name forward for the award and especially the friends that stepped in during the process to share what they appreciate about him as a dad. I wish I could read what you wrote and I bet Fabrizio would love it too. Thank you.

I am so proud of Fabrizio for the man, husband, and father he is. Something he’ll never brag about is how he never missed to step up for me or the kids when we needed him to. He will never tell you of how he studied for his demanding 3-year MBA while working full-time, choosing to study after bedtime until late night not to compromise on spending time with the kids. He won’t say how he daily pushes his own boundaries to grow into the father the kids need; how he challenges gender roles in our household and how he ended up spending more time at home caring for the kids than I did. Our kids cry out “mammapapà” when they need help, because he’s in this as much as I am. More importantly, he won’t tell about all the acts of love he performs every day. He won’t brag, so I will for him. Fabrizio is generous and kind, strong as every man who’s in touch with his own vulnerability.

Fabri, congratulations on this award. Please know we see and cherish all the ways you serve your family. For the kids and myself you are Father of the Year every single day.

If you liked this post, check out my series on fatherhood “Daddy’s Got This“. I count on my readers to give visibility to my content. If you liked this post, please share it on social media 🙏.

Featured picture by The Slow Photography.