I didn’t mean to write this post, but after receiving several puzzled messages from friends and acquaintances, I felt it would make things easier. On second thought, it may make for an useful reflection too. Yesterday I deleted my Instagram account, the last social media profile I had after I deleted all the others few months back.

I warned my contacts with an Instagram story, but some contacts didn’t see it. This is why few hours after deleting my account, I started getting emails and texts from people I know who asked why I stopped following them or why I had blocked them. The same happened when I deleted my Facebook and Twitter profile and it dragged for months. So I decided to write this post to put people’s minds at ease: I haven’t blocked anyone, I simply left the platform :). Isn’t it an interesting fact that people would rather assume someone would suddenly and inexplicably cut them off, instead of simply leaving a social media platform? I feel this natural reaction speaks volumes about the presence these platforms have in our lives.

When I set to write this post as a “public announcement”, I decided it could be worth sharing my motivations for leaving social media. The short version is: it became clear to me that social media platforms stood in the way of how I want to manage my time, my information flow, and my mental health. In this blog post I will unpack what this means.

Addiction

This is isn’t the first time I delete my social media profiles. Every time I announced my intention to leave those platforms, few people volunteered alternative solutions (now even the platforms themselves do, allowing you to “suspend” your profile or giving you tools to better manage your use): they suggested several ways for me to limit the time I spent there. However, two things stand in the way:

• the amount of time spent on social media that I deem sensible is impossible to reach. Even 30 mins a day is too much for me. There’s more to life;
• it’s very hard for me to place limits on temptations. My mind doesn’t work that way. It’s either all or nothing. It wouldn’t be worth placing all that effort in limiting myself.

Social media is designed to be addictive and it happens to be the best representation of my go-to numbing strategy: distraction. People still have a hard time admitting social media is an addictive thing like drugs or alcohol can be. Maybe it’s because its not a physical substance or because its damages are not that visible, but it stands in the same class of those. Despite being vulnerable to this addiction, I have a powerful weapon: I am obsessed with wanting to live free and to make my own rules. In time it became clear that social media was standing in the way of that and it was time for it to go.

Things have changed

Another important realisation for me was that the purpose of my social media platform had shifted. I opened my social profiles to support this blog, in the hope of increasing visitors. This never happened: most of you get here from Google. Few readers share my posts (thank you!) and social media hardly brought me new traffic. This is why few months back I closed everything but Instagram. It was the right decision and it definitely improved my stress levels and time management. If I could go back in time, I would keep Facebook instead: Instagram is awful for driving traffic. I started using my Instagram account in a more personal way: to follow specific accounts and learn about topics I had an interest in and to message friends. I spent less time on social media, but still too much for my taste. I started opening the app compulsively to check for private messages. I realised my purpose for being on Instagram had changed and it wasn’t working for me anymore.

Type of content

Those platforms feed you the content they want, as opposed to the one you want. Whether it is annoying ads (more and more frequent!) or the platform prioritising / sorting content on your feed, I know one thing: I am not in control of what I see. And I HATE that. At first I tried to “clean” my feed but I soon realised it was impossible. There are probably 100 accounts that add to my life and it’s not feasible to scale down from 3000+.

I tell my kids that media content is what you feed your mind. Would you feed your child or yourself mostly junk food? Or food that someone who has zero interest in your wellbeing chooses for you? It’s time to get picky. I know for a fact that certain content makes me sick and unfortunately the truth is, that’s what is most present on social media. Useful, purposeful, empowering content is the exception. It’s time to face this.

Those platforms are built to reward negative and superficial content. Bad news sell. They are literally built to make us feel sick because ultimately their goal is to keep us there as long as they can (= more ad views!).

Focusing my voice in my blog

Having more than one outlet disperses my voice. I am not a quick writer and I think you have realised this from the length of my posts. Writing a post often takes hours for me because I reflect on things, do research before sharing on topics I am not confident on, and because I like to volunteer links and as many information as I can. Social media offers the possibility of sharing small snapshots. My Instagram account “dispersed” many of the ideas I had. They went into stories, instead of sticking in my head and becoming posts.

While having a blog still means playing the SEO-game, I still prefer having my own independent platform to anything else. This is why I want to keep nurturing and growing it.

Privacy and ethical concerns

I am growing more and more anxious about social media, their shady intentions, the use they make of data, and how they are shaping our societies. I am aware social media can have a positive role but “even a broken clock is right twice a day“. The damage social media platforms do to our lives and societies far outweighs any benefit it brings. I believe it could be different, you know: I believe there is a way to create social media platforms all while tackling the issues they create. Until tech companies will prioritise economic gain without any care on ethical responsibility and sustainability, this will not happen. Giants like Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc. have created an environment where it’s impossible to make it right.

I am also concerned about how my data is used. I am grateful to live in the EU and benefit from GDPR – most people consider it an hindrance but that was s an unsung digital revolution. Yet I do not appreciate to live in a digital world where ads are tailored on me personally. A world where I could use one app to keep track of my menstrual cycle and this would be used against me to make me buy buy buy when I am in my most vulnerable state. This is just one example against thousands of ways tech companies use our information to “attack” us.

Nowadays privacy is a myth. However, I want to try and make things as difficult as I can for those actors. This is why I left social media.

To be fair…

It is a lie to say I have left social media. I have made an anonymous and empty Instagram account. I followed a handful of accounts that keep me informed on relevant topics. I have given myself clear boundaries and goals to make sure this solution serves me in the long-term and I do not slip back into bad habits.

I have reinstalled WhatsApp to message with my closest friends and my colleagues since Instagram had taken that role too. I am trying this new solutions to see if this works for me.

In conclusion

I have shared my thought process in detail to spark a reflection in my readers. If there’s one message I want you to take home is that you shouldn’t forget that you own your time (and your data). It’s important to continuously reassess if the elements in your life serve you or it’s time for change. This is true also for tech and social media.

As I mentioned, this wasn’t the first time I deleted my social profiles. Maybe it won’t be the last. This time it was easier because it was less daunting. I have already lived off social media platforms and yet found ways to keep in touch with the people in my life. I even lived without a smartphone for over a year not long ago! Technology has to serve you, not the other way around.

Have you ever made changes in your use of or presence on social media? Let me know in the comments below.

Featured Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay.